Ryan Akagi (
chickenchoicejudy) wrote2022-11-10 11:10 pm
Victory Road IC Inbox

[There is a sick guitar riff on this answering machine message. Why.]
"🎵 Leave me a message after the tone! And I'll get back to you on my cellular phone!
I totally will! I totally will!
I'm not gonna forget I sweaaaaaaaarrrr--🎵"
[Video/Audio/Text/Etc.]

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He waits for a day where the snow seems to be a little lighter just in case this all goes wrong. He doesn't think Ryan will kick him out of their room, but he also has no real way to predict just what his reaction will be and the worst case scenarios keep trying to push their way in from the back of his mind. Min-Gi gives them the morning, probably being slightly nicer to Ryan than he needs to be despite Carly's advice against it. No matter what the outcome of his confession is, he wants to be able to remember them being happy.
Noon comes and goes, and as the afternoon creeps along Ryan can probably sense his growing nervousness. He doesn't seem able to focus on conversation, and he keeps opening his mouth as if to say something only to brush it off again.
It seems impossible to find a good way to breach the subject. In the end, the only starter he can think of is one he knows is likely to make Ryan worry. He tries to smile, but it's hollow.]
Hey, can we talk about something?
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For the first week, Ryan willfully ignored it because he couldn't deal with getting flung into a new world AND being a pokémon babysitter AND Min not telling him something. Besides, sometimes Min needs to take his time with things. Ryan's been putting a lot of trust in him to know where they should go and what they need to do to get by in this weird place, and for the most part he's been really helpful with that. Any questions he's had Min's either had an answer or knew where they could get an answer. He's been what Ryan would consider unusually patient, but...well, they've both been trying harder since the train. Even that doesn't ring as totally unusual.
It's just...weird little things that keep going unexplained. Min keeps treating him to things, way more than he used to. Despite being the one who keeps track of the finances and stress about how many shows would pay them what amount, Min seems entirely unconcerned about money at all, which is usually Ryan's job. Every time Ryan tries to bring up paying for something or ask how much something costs, Min gently shuts him down and tells him not to worry about it.
But it's really weird that Min isn't worrying about it. Is he worrying about it and just not telling him? Because he doesn't have to do that; Ryan can definitely help them make some cash somehow. But Min really doesn't seem concerned about it, and Ryan can't even fathom why. He has to be getting money somewhere, and he doesn't want Ryan to help.
And then there's all that business of not telling literally anyone they're in a band. Why wouldn't he tell anyone what his career back home is? It seems like a basic small talk sort of thing, and one of the first things Ryan mentions to anyone, but everyone who knew Min was surprised. ...Is that why he's being so weird about Ryan helping him make money? Does he not want to play here? --no no no, that's dumb. They're already talking about instruments, which are apparently out of Min-Gi's mysterious secret budget that he won't tell him about.
And then! Then there's the fact that he's been like, super nice all day? Ryan's had fun and it's been a great time, but every time it gets to be more than Ryan imagines is warranted, Ryan tenses up inside like a cat. He just...doesn't know what to do when someone is overly nice to him for seemingly no reason. He starts searching for reasons someone would, or why he would deserve it. Like, it's not their birthday or something, so...why?
When he thinks about that too hard though, it goes into kind of a dark place. So instead, he forcibly shoves it to the back burner of his mind and ignores all of it by playing with Min-un, teaching him how to play little hand clapping games to pass the time. It's not like he has his guitar to vent all of these weird feelings out on.]
But she could smoke, smoke, smoke
Her father's pipe, pipe, pi-- Huh?
[Min catches his attention and Min-un flat out missed Ryan's hands because he stopped playing so abruptly, and wobbles a little before righting himself (and complaining loudly).]
...Yeah, sure man. What's up?
[There is an entire fire station worth of alarms going off in his brain, but on the outside he holds it together. Yeah, sure. They can talk and everything will be totally fine and Min isn't about to drop some awful bombshell on him.]
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Truthfully, he'd love to back out, but it feels too late for that now. He's already drawn attention to the fact that there's a problem, and even if neither of them have outright said it they've both known it.
Min-Gi keeps smiling that same empty smile, reaching to his belt to remove a ball that contains a Pokémon he's barely touched since he caught it.]
I have something for you.
[This is something else Carly told him not to do, but he was going to give it to Ryan at some point anyway. He'd been toying with the idea of releasing it before he'd shown up in New Bark, but that seemed irresponsible when all the other weird dinosaur Pokémon had disappeared completely now. Why not now before Min's revelation inevitably makes things weird between them?]
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Something's wrong with the way Min's smiling. He can't put words to it, but it's not right. He knows what Min's smile looks like when he really means it and it doesn't look like this.
He stares at the pokéball, as if it's going to open up and tell him what this is all about like a puppet.]
Uh. Cool! Thanks, man.
[It is an equally fake reaction, because Ryan has no idea where this is going. He holds his hand out to accept the gift...
...and then, doesn't immediately do anything with it. He doesn't ignore it, because that would be weird and mean, but he just holds it in his hands without pressing the button to release the mystery pokémon. It's actually kind of killing him to not know what's inside, but he's trying his absolute hardest not to let himself get distracted here - which is a herculean effort under the best of circumstances.]
So, was this what you wanted to talk to me about, or...I dunno, something else?
[It's a trick question, because Ryan is absolutely onto him.]
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He looks expectantly at Ryan as he waits for him to open up the pokéball. He's caught completely off guard when he refrains from seeing what's inside. That was the one part of this scenario he thought he could accurately predict. He doesn't think he's ever seen him wait this long to open a gift once he has permission. There have been plenty of times when they were kids when he didn't even wait for that.
His face falls, realising that means Ryan must know what he has to tell him is bad. He bites his lip, letting out a shaky breath as he tries not to let his anxiety overtake him. He needs to do this.]
It's about something else...
[At this point he's struggling to look at him. There's no good outcome here in his mind. How can there be, when he's about to tell him he's a criminal? There are just varying levels of bad.]
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But there's still signs of that instinct. He rubs his thumb against the top of the pokéball in his hands, as though maybe whoever is inside can feel it somehow. More importantly though, Min gave indications of a different sort of surprise first - a surprise topic he wants talk about. Surprises can be good or bad, and it's all he'll think about until he knows what Min wants to say here.
There's an awkward beat, where Ryan gives Min space to say the thing himself. ...But then he doesn't and Ryan can't handle it, so he pushes it along himself.]
What's it about then? C'mon, don't leave me hanging here.
[He tries to keep his tone light, but there's worry tinting it. Ryan knows whatever Min has to say is something bad, but it's registering as something wrong now rather than something he's done. It's hard not to, when he can see anxiety hovering over Min like a dark shadow.]
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action; 25th March
He feels free out here, with just the two of them. Away from civilisation and anyone else. Min-Gi's too reliant on modern conveniences to be happy like this for long, but tonight it feels good. Special. He's more distracted from the marshmallows than he usually is, which means they keep coming out darker than Ryan likes them even if he has managed to avoid outright burning them so far. After the third time this happens he sighs, holding out the stick with the slightly overdone marshmallow for Ryan to take. Work off previous experience, it seems safe to assume it's probably still in a better shape than the one he's made.
He needs to just bite the bullet. There's no way Ryan hasn't caught onto there being something distracting him, and if Min doesn't say anything now he'll talk himself out of it.]
Hey, Ryan? You remember I told you there was something I wasn't ready to talk about?
[Min doesn't sound nervous exactly. Disbelieving might be closer to it. Like he doesn't quite buy this is happening, even though he's the one bringing it up.]
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This includes making the decision to not bring up the fact that Min-Gi is overdoing the marshmallows - besides, he's lucky Min even roasts the marshmallows. Whenever he tries he gets impatient and they wind up on fire and torched and tasting more like charcoal than sugar. But he can eat some slightly overdone marshmallows (or rather, eat around the burned parts) as he gauges whether or not he should say something.
But surprisingly, Min-Gi brings it up first. And he even zeroes right in on the point.]
Yeah, I remember. Are you...?
[He doesn't want to push too hard, so he trails off to let Min fill in that blank himself - but only if he wants to. Only if he's ready to talk about it now.
This might be the perfect time though - alone in the woods together, all psychic types safely inside their pokéballs, closer than either of them need to be while huddled around a fire in springtime. Everything feels kind of cozy despite roughing it.]
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"Are you ready?" isn't much better. It gives him an out. An out part of him is already aching to take. He could tell him he isn't. He could pretend it wasn't that big of a deal after all. He could make up something else.
But then he'd be lying to Ryan. Then he'd have to go back to desperately trying to push down the thoughts he's never quite managed to get rid of no matter how hard he tries. He looks at Ryan sidelong, using the silence to bolster himself.]
What would you think if I... [It's two words. That's all he needs. Two words without overexplaining or dancing around it. It should be easy.] I'm...
[The false starts are frustrating. He knows Ryan won't react badly to this, so why is it so hard? Why is it so scary to say out loud to the one person he trusts more than anyone? Even more than his parents who can still never, ever find out.
He should just say it, he knows that, but in the end it turns out to be easier to take the indirect route.]
Have you ever noticed how I don't get girlfriends?
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Ryan still wonders why Min couldn't say anything before, why he felt weird about confiding in him all of a sudden.
But...he's a little surprised when Min-Gi mentions girls.
Deep down, he always suspected that would be part of the equation eventually. Min-Gi is straight after all, and his parents will probably needle him about settling down and getting married. He tries not to think about it though, because that inherently implies an end date to their tour. Once Min settles down, Ryan will be alone again.
He takes the rest of his marshmallow and casually starts burning it in the flames - not even trying to roast it, but just burn the stick clean so it can be used again.]
I mean...yeah, but that's not on you, man. You haven't been out of Powell Lake that long, and I totally can't picture you dating anyone we went to high school with. And since we went on the road we don't stay anywhere all that long anyway, so...it makes sense?
[Min-Gi isn't weird for not having girlfriends. He's a fundamentally different person than Ryan, who recklessly threw himself at too many people on his first tour. It took Min weeks to say even this much, so of course he wouldn't have snagged a girlfriend on any of their stops.
Ryan isn't sure what comes next, but his stomach tightens. Maybe Min-Gi met someone here?]
...Why do you ask?
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[That's not what he said, but there's something about it Min feels weirdly defensive over. Maybe because he's right. There's no way things would have worked out with anyone they'd gone to school with. He hadn't been interested in any of the girls, and outside of a few minor crushes that would have definitely got his ass kicked if they'd been found out he hadn't had much interest in any of the guys. With one major exception he is absolutely not planning on sharing now. Even this feels like too much.
He sits in a sullen silence, not so much reassured as frustrated. He's hidden himself so well not even the person he's closest to can see it. The only person he isn't fooling is himself, no matter how hard he's tried.]
I don't know. I just... I don't understand how it's so easy for some people. To be honest about what they want.
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It's less couldn't and more wouldn't? It's not about you, it's about not getting stuck with someone you don't care about just because they're like, around and not doing anything. I dunno, I guess I just...assumed you would rule out like, all of them.
[Maybe he shouldn't be assuming that though. Did he overstep? Was there a girl he liked? Ryan's trying to think back, but no one comes to mind.
He listens to Min though and lets that thought hang in the air between them. Then, out of nowhere, he nudges him and grins.]
Some people like me, you mean?
[He's not offended or anything. It's just true - Ryan tries really hard to be unapologetically himself, even when that's caused him trouble. He doesn't understand not being that way, unless it's out of concern for his own safety.
He has to think about it though, find some way to explain it that Min might understand.]
...Well. If I'm not honest about what I want, I'll never actually get it. And the thought of not having it at all is way worse.
[Just saying that makes him feel like a hypocrite. He's loved someone for years and years and never said anything. Aside from that though, it's still mostly true advice.]
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There's someone else there too. Tangled up in his arms. If they weren't so familiar he'd freak out then and there, but the scent is one he recognises instantly, and he knows the way he feels in his arms.
Cracking open one eye confirms it, and Min-Gi lets out an unsteady sigh of relief before he sits up just slightly so he can look around the strange room.
He doesn't have to look far to see something else that isn't right. There on the pillows are two strange rabbit like creatures, curled together just as tightly as Min-Gi and Ryan. He lets out a frightened yelp, pulling himself free from Ryan and scrambling to the end of the bed.
The creatures wake up instantly, jumping up and looking directly at him much to his alarm.]
Ryan!
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Huh? Min-Gi...? What's wr--
[There are weird yellow rabbits staring at them. Ryan yelps too and scoots back in the opposite direction, only to bang against the headboard. Oops. It's fine though, he just rolls off the bed and runs over to Min's end of it so he can jump back up and cling to him.
The two weird rabbits both seem really concerned by all this yelling and flailing, but also the fact that Ryan and Min are so scared and so little. It's enough for Ryan to ease a little bit.]
Are they...rabbits?
[He's not sure, but what he's pretty sure of is that rabbits don't attack people. They're just kind of cute and run away from you in the yard. These rabbits aren't running though. Instead they're standing upright and whispering in each other's ears to try and figure out what to even do here.]
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[Whatever they are, they definitely aren't rabbits. Min-Gi knows what a rabbit looks like, and that isn't it. Rabbits don't act like this either. Min doesn't understand what they are, but he knows they aren't like any regular animal they've ever seen.
When the weird animals are done whispering to each other the red one drops to all fours, tentatively taking a few steps nearer, ears perked. Min-Gi's grip tightens on on Ryan, shrinking back.]
Ryan... make them go away...
[His voice is a high whine, and close as they are Ryan can probably feel him trembling.
Strangely, the rabbit thing stops. It hops back to the blue one, both of them looking hurt by the reaction.]
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He holds Min close though, and gently pats him on the back.]
Min-Gi, it's okay...they seem nice? You guys are nice rabbits right?
[He isn't really expecting an answer, but the two look at each other, debating whether or not they want to let these children keep calling them rabbits, but they both eventually nod, with a "Plu!" and "Min!" respectively and Ryan's eyes go wide.]
Woah. Min-Gi! They talk! And they knew what I said!
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How do they know what you said?
[He sounds suspicious, but he can't deny that it does seem like they understand.]
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The outdoor rink is decorated for the season, and although it's only early evening it's already more than dark enough that the lights are on and adding to the festive atmosphere.
Min-Gi steps onto the ice once the gate is opened for them, pausing to make sure he remembers how to balance before he offers his hand out to Ryan to help him enter the rink. It's one of the few places he doesn't feel as though he has to think too much about it, and he wants to take advantage of the chance to prove to Ryan he can do it.]
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But this is different. They're here on a date, and it's something they've never done together in that sense before. He's gone with Min of course, but...it's different. It's exciting! And Ryan is fully expecting Min to be shy about it, but then Min offers his hand, and Ryan could swoon.]
Such a gentleman.
[That might be pushing it, but Ryan takes his hand before Min-Gi can change his mind, and steps onto the rink. He slides just a little, but corrects himself quickly enough with a bright laugh. He squeezes Min's hand tight, and swings them back and forth between them.]
Ready?
[It's kind of a rhetorical question - they have to move so other people can get on the rink, and it's as good an excuse as any.]
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He does have a moment where he glances between the attendant and the couple behind them, but he doesn't try to take away his hand. The former is bored and disinterested, while the couple are so into each other they hardly seem to notice anyone else is even there. It's strangely reassuring to be of so little note. It makes it easy to look back at Ryan when he asks him if he's ready without worrying too much about what other people think. He nods, giving Ryan's hand a quick little squeeze, holding it so he can't swing for a moment.]
Mm-hm.
[He tugs gently at Ryan so the can skate over to the side. Out of the way of the entrance and more confident skaters. He can remember how to do this, but they're both rusty. They should spend a little time in the slow lane.
His movements are definitely stiffer than when they were younger. This had seemed easy once. Freeing, even, once they were old enough to go on their own. He laughs awkwardly as they reach the railings. He doesn't need it, but it's still nice to have it right there.]
We used to be so much better at this...
action; 23rd April
Although they probably should be preparing for their upcoming gym battle, neither one of them can resist the opportunity to experience it for themselves. It's nice to see everyone out and about enjoying the festival. It's mostly stalls of either books or roses, but there are a couple of food stalls in among them, and even performers. There's a reenactment of the story of Saint George, and buskers serenading their audiences with love songs. Even the buildings are decked out in roses. Min's never seen anything like it.
It's a fun day, and he enjoys spending it with Ryan, but he's very aware they're missing out on a big part of the tradition. As the afternoon goes on he suggests they meet back at the dorm, slipping away with a stilted excuse that doesn't make a lot of sense even to his own ears.
He wants to surprise Ryan though. And honestly? He's still not sure what he should get him. A book would be more traditional, but Ryan's never been as big a reader as Min has been. They'd discussed flowers after Valentine's and he know Ryan kind of likes the idea of being given them, but would he find it weird given the traditions here? They're supposedly more flexible than they used to be, but they haven't spent much time in Paldea and finds himself unsure.
Eventually, though, he makes his decision. His chest is tight as he arrives back at the dorm with his gift in hand, peering around the door so he doesn't ruin his surprise.]
Ryan?
action; 23rd April
At first he'd been kind of puzzled that Min-Gi needed to step away, but it did give him a chance to double back to a previous booth and try to remember what books Min-Gi had been looking at. That seems like the best way to go for a gift, getting something he actually saw Min-Gi checking out. But damn there are a lot of books, and it's a little harder than he anticipated. By the time he gets back to the room he thinks he has something good though, and he's just about done wrapping it when Min-Gi pokes his face in the room. He still jumps though, and tries to cover his surprise so Min-Gi can't see it right away.]
Min! Hey! S'up, man?
[He adjusts himself so the gift is clearly behind him, as if it's still a secret somehow, and tries to sit more casually, one leg crossed over the other. He's sooooooo nonchalant.]
Did you get that...thing....done?
[Honestly he doesn't remember the excuse Min-Gi gave him anymore. Whatever it was was kind of weird anyway?]
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[He nods tersely, body still partially obscured by the door.
Min-Gi's smile is too forced to be casual. He'd tried to gauge Ryan's reaction to some of the books they'd looked at, but even without seeing too much excitement at any of them he still isn't sure he made the right choice.
The one thing he is sure of is that Ryan knows what he's been up to. Why else would he be acting so jumpy? Part of him is tempted to just abort the idea then and there, but it's not like he has any way to hide the gift.
There really isn't much choice.]
I... have something for you.
[The situation feels eerily familiar, and neither time had been ideal. The first time he'd succeeded in giving Ryan a gift he'd liked, but they hadn't spoken in almost a year. The second time they'd been fine, but Ryan's never been comfortable with the Dracozolt he'd tried to give him.
His chest is tight as he finally nudges the door the rest of the way, kicking it shut behind him so he can hold the flowers out without risking anyone else seeing the moment. The dorms are convenient while they're in the city, but they're not great for privacy.]
Sorry if it's weird. [He knows he probably shouldn't put the disclaimer in, but his heart is in his throat and he's painfully aware of how clammy he is.] I told the seller it had to be okay for a guy, so...
[Which might explain how Ryan's ended up with such a wheat heavy bouquet compared with a lot of what had been on offer at the festival. There are still roses, though, and a tiny shiny Dragonite tag attached to one of the roses with a ribbon.]
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His own gift to Min-Gi is practically forgotten on the table behind him, wrapped in blue paper, as he crosses the room to close any gap between them.]
Dude, it's not weird at all. I love them. Seriously.
[He leans in to kiss Min-Gi on the cheek as he takes the bouquet from him. Maybe he should go look for a vase or a glass or something, but he sort of wants to hold onto them and enjoy them for a little while longer, cradling them like a stuffed animal.
It's only then that he remembers he had been hiding his own present, now out in the open.]
...I got you something too. Surprise?
[It's literally not a surprise anymore, but oh well. If Min-Gi opens it, he'll find a book on the musical history of Paldea and its pokemon - something that would be a little too dry for Ryan's taste, but seems right up Min-Gi's alley - or at least, he hopes so.]
Was this one of the ones you were looking at? I tried to remember but, you know-- [He doesn't explain, but he seems sheepish to admit that.] --but, I thought you might like it! Do you?
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He moves to the table to pick it up, the corners of his lips tugging up in a smile even before he unwraps it. By the time he's read the title he's practically beaming.]
I love it.
[Much like Ryan he closes the gap between them, being careful not to crush the flowers he's still holding close.]
Thank you. You're the best boyfriend.
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