yeah you're right. its just weird because i never thought i was into dudes.
[ but now he's realizing he was probably just suppressing a lot of feelings all this time. funny how that works.
he's also got a lot of complicated feelings going on about a girl back home who he thought he was in love with but now he's wondering if he just wanted to be in love with her, or maybe he is in love with her but he knows he's never going to see her again or... god. it's too much to think about. he just knows he doesn't want to be unfair to eddie because of his own stupid confusion. ]
but like even talking about it now i feel like i should be freaking out and if was still home i know i'd definitely be freaking out but here i feel like
i don't know. shit this is hard to talk about
but if hanging out with him gives me something to look forward to on this damn ship then maybe i shouldn't make a big deal about us both being guys
no subject
[ but now he's realizing he was probably just suppressing a lot of feelings all this time. funny how that works.
he's also got a lot of complicated feelings going on about a girl back home who he thought he was in love with but now he's wondering if he just wanted to be in love with her, or maybe he is in love with her but he knows he's never going to see her again or... god. it's too much to think about. he just knows he doesn't want to be unfair to eddie because of his own stupid confusion. ]
but like even talking about it now i feel like i should be freaking out and if was still home i know i'd definitely be freaking out but here i feel like
i don't know. shit this is hard to talk about
but if hanging out with him gives me something to look forward to on this damn ship then maybe i shouldn't make a big deal about us both being guys
i guess